I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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