it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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