yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
