my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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