And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
