She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Randomize
