Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
you win again, gameday.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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