Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
