I can tuck mytits in my pants
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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