Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
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Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
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I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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