I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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