if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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