So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
