I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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