Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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