it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize