Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
