I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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