see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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