i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
