we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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