he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Randomize
