Acid is not a monday night drug
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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