in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Randomize
