i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
