I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
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