I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
