Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
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He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
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It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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