My friends, they love my intelligence
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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