Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
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