I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
