Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
