Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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