I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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