My first STD was from a foam party
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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