I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
