Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
We just shotgunned beers for America
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
