Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize