So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
