Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
