I showed him my bush... on skype.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
