Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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