At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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