I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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