i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
