My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
