You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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