How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
