i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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