Three words: puerto rican gang bang
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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