Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
