Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Randomize
