Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
