Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
