I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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