oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
