I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
When did angry sex become our thing?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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