marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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