Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
this just has baby written all over it
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
