glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize