To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
