someone owes me an orgasm
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
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