White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
