she was so not down for the gang bang
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize