Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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